I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize