well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
