didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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