Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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