Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Did I show you my penis last night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
