You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
