drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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