Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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