What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
