Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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