I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
