Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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