Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
