well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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