Barsexuality is the new black.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
organizing the empties. That sober.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
