I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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