I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
