she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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