i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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