Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
