dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
even my farts smell like vagina
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
