Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
