I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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