Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
