I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
