So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
