Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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