I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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