So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
A+ Viking dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
