If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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