all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
