Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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