trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize