I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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