is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
