I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
