there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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