Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
