I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
love makes seman taste better
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
