she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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