Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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