Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
