is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize