neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
