:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
