guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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