did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
