What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
