Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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