When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
