yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
