You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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