Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
