No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
