I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
