too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i think my cat just said my name.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
