I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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