Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
