Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
