I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
