I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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