How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
