I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
