did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
