Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
