Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
