Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
