I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think people are normalizing furries
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
