How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize