I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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