Your tits are I can't wait for
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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