...so i touched it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
