Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
