Duck Duck Cougar?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
